Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Satire: Nader Tells Gravel to Get Out of Rac


More election coverage from Andy Borowitz.

Nader Tells Gravel to Get Out of Race
Making a Fool of Himself, Ralph Warns

Just days after former Alaska senator Mike Gravel announced his independent candidacy for president, the newly minted candidate received his first demand that he get out of the race.

“Mike Gravel should get out of the race, and get out now,” said independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader. “The longer he stays in, the greater risk he runs of making a fool of himself.”

Mr. Nader said that Mr. Gravel accomplished great things as a senator from Alaska, but added, “If you run a foolish, meaningless campaign for president, pretty soon people will forget all the good you achieved way back when.”

“The last thing you want to be thought of is as some tiresome old gas-bag who likes seeing himself on TV,” he added.

The former consumer activist said he does not believe that many Americans will waste their votes on Mr. Gravel, but warned that “even a few votes in a few states could have a catastrophic effect.”

“If Mike Gravel’s presence in the race winds up leading to the election of a Republican who then leads us into a disastrous war, I don’t know how he’ll live with himself,” Mr. Nader said.


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